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"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but on building the new."

Dan Millman



Lori Wilkinson Rella (she/her), LMFT

Remember being asked what you wanted to be when you were a child? I was always envious of the people who had a ready answer and followed a straight path to their career. It was only when I entered graduate school as a mid-life career change that I learned how much value there can be in a meandering path.

I've worked in finance and computer systems in the high-tech environment of Silicon Valley. I've lived abroad. I received a degree for studying chemistry and music and am actively working on raising two delightfully quirky humans. Along the way I learned a lot about myself, and how to use that knowledge to make deep and lasting connections with friends and family, to be able to offer a listening ear without judgment, and to help others find and understand patterns in how they approach their world.

My meandering path has helped me hone my approach to therapy. I see understanding your bigger picture meaning and purpose in life as fundamental to being able to make lasting change. I know being your authentic self can take courage. And I approach therapy just as I would any other relationship - as a real and genuine experience between equals. 


I've honed my natural ability to help clients find meaning and resilience through years of supporting patients, families and community members through the grief around end of life, both in hospice care and unexpected loss. I've taken a deep dive into Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and help bring structure and hope to people struggling with a lifetime of emotional dysregulation. And I continue to combine lived experience and ongoing training to working with people who identify as gender, sexual and/or relationship diverse.

I especially enjoy working with people - individually, in pairs or other constellations - who are trying to find their own paths in life.

  • Gender, Sexual, and Relationship Diversity (GSRD)

    • LGBTQ+ community

    • polyamory

    • kink

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy

    • Personality Disorders

    • Issues with Emotion Dysregulation

  • Grief and Loss

  • Trauma

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Are you having difficulty finding your path? I invite you to reach out to see if we might together be able to get you back on track.





All services are currently offered via tele-health to clients throughout California.

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